Friday, June 27, 2014

Nothing Prepares You for This

A few weeks ago, I walked into Willa's room in the morning to get her up and could smell the dirty diaper as I reached to pick her up out of the crib. In the process of getting her clothes out of the closet and then laying her down to change her diaper, poop squeezed out of the top of the diaper like toothpaste out of the tube. Only instead of a toothbrush, it all ended up on my arm. Giant. Pile. of Poop. On my arm. 

Yup. Major parental milestone right there. Getting poop on you. 

I mean you hear the stories about dealing with various bodily fluids and functions because babies don't have control of those systems yet. In a way you think you're prepared for it to happen. Your baby gets to be 14 months old, and you hadn't gotten pooped on yet so you applaud yourself on your awesome diapering skills. Then karma reveals her bitchy self (what a whore), and your pride goes down a couple points.

First of these milestones, I got peed on because I wasn't fast enough getting Willa into the bathtub. Then I got vomited on when she got her first stomach bug. And now I've completed the holy trinity... getting poop on me. 

Oh, but the poop story doesn't end there...

The next morning before I even turned on the light, I could smell the dirty diaper. But I wasn't prepared for what that light revealed. Poop EVERYWHERE. All over her crib... the sheet, the slats, her monkey she sleeps with. And all over her. It seemed like wherever I looked THERE WAS THE POOP mocking me for my arrogance. "Haha, silly woman. You thought yesterday was bad. That was the just my warm up act."

I stood there stunned as she stood there screaming and reaching for me. Then I swallowed, turned my stomach to iron and walked out to start the bath. As the bathtub was filling up, I returned to the room to get her out and stripped her down. While I gave her a quick bath, John came in and threw all the soiled items in the washing machine. It was not a pleasant experience for any of us. But we got her clean, and we moved on.

The third morning I almost didn't want to go into her room because I wasn't sure what would be waiting for me. Luckily, the crib and Willa were both clean.

Definitely a parenting experience that's going in the book of stories I tell her when she's older.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Communication: Needs Improvement

Everything I read about the 12-18 month age said that it could be frustrating for both parents and child as communication is hard because the child understands a lot of what is said to him/her but is unable to communicate what it is he/she wants.

Boy, they were not wrong.

Willa has a couple words she says, and the rest is babble. She can make the sign for more. Well, sorta. It's not the full sign, but it's close enough, and she uses it in the right context so it's clear what she's trying to say. More blueberries, Mom. I want to eat my weight in blueberries. She can also shake her head no, which is helpful in determining what she's reaching her hand out for.

Truthfully, her communication skills have grown.

But oh how frustrating it still is.

Especially when I set her down to cook dinner or stretch out my back from carrying around a 30-pound sack of sugar in human form, and she starts screaming. There is no reasoning with her that I'm not leaving her. I'm not even leaving the room. In fact I'M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU CHILD. WILL YOU PLEASE CALM THE EFF DOWN.

All I'm able to do is sit there and offer her different toys to play with in hopes that one of them will grab her attention long enough for her to forget the fact that I'm not holding her. And take deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths. While reminding myself she's not going to start high school with a screaming fit and crocodile tears because I'm leaving her at school. This too shall pass.

We did have a huge victory in the form of an actual conversation on Sunday. Willa finally figured out how to nod her head yes to a question recently. On Sunday we broke out her little pool, and while John was in the backyard filling it up, Willa was throwing a fit because she wanted to go outside. But first I needed to get sunscreen, a swim diaper and a suit on her so she could play in the water.

Willa, do you want to go outside?

*Pauses screaming* *Nods head*

Then please come here so I can change your clothes.

*Crawls over to me and submits to sunscreen, swim diaper and swimsuit*

She can communicate! But she still needs improvement.