Friday, September 28, 2012

One Through Five



I wrote a post each month of the year we were trying to get pregnant except for the first five. This was written recently so it is an account of my memory of that time and not as full of emotion as the posts to come.

Shortly after my 30th birthday, John and I talked about that next step of our marriage… children. Since both of us were ready for that step, we agreed to start trying the next month when my birth control prescription ran out.

It was an exciting time for us. We joked a lot about practice and baby making batter. I was living in two week increments. Two weeks until ovulation and two weeks until my period was due.

Immediately that first month I downloaded an app on my phone to help me identify when that fertile time of the month was going to occur. The second month I started taking my basal body temperature every morning to more accurately pinpoint when I would ovulate.

Why yes, I am a type A. How’d you know?

I even started a list of names during these months and began writing the blog post announcing the pregnancy in my head.

Each month was hopeful. Though they all ended in disappointment, I wasn’t too bothered by it because my doctor had told me it could take an average of 3-6 months for a couple to conceive. Since I had been on birth control for a few years, I figured we would be on the later end of that average.

Like I said, it was an exciting and hopeful time as we dreamed of the child we tried for. The months passed quickly. When people would ask if (or when) we were going to start having kids, I would smile and give some noncommittal answer as we didn't feel comfortable telling anyone and everyone that we were trying.

But I would imagine what it would be like to give that question a different answer.

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