Thursday, May 3, 2012

Is that a phone in your purse or are you just happy to see me?

You ever have a day when you accidentally bring a sex toy to work because you forgot it was in your purse until after you got to the office and then the thought of it sitting in your purse under your desk the whole day made you extremely jumpy and nervous so that when someone asks you if you're okay, you blush and giggle while not making eye contact? And then the thought of the possibility of it accidentally turning on while your boss is sitting in your office makes you even more jumpy, and so you don't have to think on your feet should it happen, you make a plan of how you should respond: "Oh, that's my phone ringing." "Isn't that your phone on your desk?" SHIT "Yes, but I meant my back up phone. Because I am very busy and important, I have two phones." Then you make a mental note that you need a better response plan for the days you accidentally bring a sex toy to work, and you wonder if you've taken drugs and forgotten about it because this behavior is totally not like you? And so you spend the whole day scared someone is going to find out your secret, and you really are not looking forward to explaining yourself in that meeting, and it's not until the end of the day when you're walking out that you realize you should have put it in your car once you realized it was in your purse so once again you wonder about whether or not you've taken drugs because normally that's a solution you would have thought of hours earlier?

You ever have a day like that?

No?

Me either.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Oh that? I have those days. Weekly.

Hahahahahaha! :)