Thursday, May 17, 2012

Damsel in Non-Distress

There are many stories that teach lessons to young girls like how women need to be rescued, how a prince charming and wedding are what bring a happily ever after, how love and marriage are easy and how vampires make the best boyfriends.

While these can (sometimes) make for interesting stories, it's not always easy to forget the fairy tales and accept reality. Which is partly why I greatly enjoy movies, TV and books with strong female characters.

Because women can be a rescue-er. Because happiness is the result of a choice, not a wedding. Because love and marriage are hard. And vampires do NOT make the best boyfriends. (Just ask Buffy) (A far better vampire love story) (And a great example of a strong female character kicking ass)

It took me longer than I care to admit to realize happiness and satisfaction with my life does not come from a man but from me. 

To realize that waiting for happiness to come is futile because it is a decision. A choice. One that needs to be made every day. Otherwise life becomes miserable, and you become lonely.

Five years ago, The Year I Got My Groove Back, I learned a lot about myself in my journey to lose weight. One of those lessons being that I could be happy on my own. 

So a couple years later when I was considering moving in with John and marrying him at some point, I thought a lot about him and life with him and life without him. 

I know it's common to say things like "I can't live without [my spouse]." 

But that's not how I felt. I knew I could live without him. But I didn't want to.

And for me. Well, that's how I knew I was ready to make that commitment for a lifetime.

I wasn't, and am still not, a damsel in distress who needed rescuing by her prince.

I don't want to just read stories about strong female characters. I want to be a strong female character who kicks ass next to her prince.


Nicole Tucker said...

THIS should be the new, modern-day fairy tale parents read to their kids!

Anonymous said...

Great Title Damsel Not in Distress. Would be a good title for a book series with a strong woman lead character.
You'd make a good mentor for school girls so they'd be encouraged to make the right choices of classes, careers to be independent and self-sufficient.
Any man should be proud to have you as his wife, knowing love was your motive for marriage.

Jenn said...

So important and more girls need to be taught .... it's impossible to be happy in a relationship unless you're first happy and comfortable with yourself.

Michele said...

This is so perfect and exactly what I needed to read. You're so right that we can kick ass, be our own heroes and don't need someone else to complete us. Bravo lady!