Thursday, April 19, 2012

Best Advice Ever

Since I moved back to Texas, my dad and I have a tradition of going to the Texas Rangers opening day. I love this tradition for several reasons.

1. Spending a (usually) gorgeous spring afternoon at the ballpark instead of at my desk in the office

B. Baseball

5. An afternoon with my dad

I get to see my parents often since we live relatively close to each other. But it's rare to get to spend time one-on-one with them. So I really value those afternoons with my dad. And not just because of the baseball or when he buys lunch. But because we end up having a deeper conversation than we usually do since it's just the two of us.

Two plus years ago in the months of planning leading up to W Day, people were always giving me advice on what they thought made a successful marriage. (Pro tip: People love to give advice even if you didn't ask for it. Best way to get of those awkward situations is to take off your shoe and throw it at them. But then you might get arrested. So next best way is to smile and say thank you.) (Hint: Just because you're given advice doesn't mean you have to take it. Took me a long time to learn that gem.) (Like now you can ignore me and throw shoes at people giving you unwanted advice.) (Hey! Put down that shoe!) Where was I? Oh yeah. Marriage advice.

So two years ago at opening day when I was just weeks away from getting married, I sought some advice. I asked my dad what he thought made his and my mom's marriage so successful (they'll be married 34 years this summer).

I can't remember exactly what he said, but the crux of his message was to keep the marriage and what happens in the marriage between the two people who are married. The more I thought about it the more I realized how much wisdom there is in that.

Marriage is hard enough. It's a verb. Something you have to do and commit to every day. So why bring other people into it? That just adds a whole new level of complexity that is completely unnecessary.

Best. Marriage. Advice. Ever.

That is one piece of advice I did take.


Jenn said...

Your dad is brilliant. I remember dishing on past relationships with friends and getting advice about issues, but I've found with Chris I don't even want to dish ... I'd much rather work it out with him. It makes our relationship that much stronger ... and you're right. No one else needs to be in your relationship :)

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