Thursday, March 17, 2011

Looking for a Fix

I realized something last week. It's March. And not just is it March, but it's the frakkin' middle of March. And normally that's not something that pisses me off. Normally I'm quite happy with March because it means strappy shoe wearing and patio drinking weather. Except this March I'm missing something.

Girl Scout cookies.

Last year we didn't have any neighborhood Girl Scouts ringing our door to take my standard order of cookies (Thin Mints - for John, Peanut Butter Patties - well duh, and Samoas - my favorites.

So when our bell rang indicating someone was requesting my presence and I opened the door to find a reluctant cookie sales teen, I may or may not have squee'ed in excitement. I scribbled my order and address on the magic sheet that is supposed to turn into cookies and asked her when I could expect those delicious pieces of heaven.

"Around Valentine's Day."

Do you know when Valentine's Day was?

Last month. 31 days ago. 31. Days.

And while everyone else has already devoured their ridiculously priced, but addictively tasty, treats, I am still sans cookies.

This does not sit well with me.

I should have suspected this was going to happen. Young teen Girl Scout had an unenthusiastic, half-assed sales pitch. I realize she was selling Girl Scout cookies and those things practically sell themselves (see addictively tasty treats), but when someone is asking me to shell out my hard-earned dollars for ridiculously priced cookies, I expect a sales pitch dammit. This chick didn't even tell me her name.

(Maybe it's just me and my over-achiever-ness. Or my parents and their over-achiever-ness. But back in the day, I had a planned pitch that I delivered to each house on my neighborhood cookie campaign. "Hi, my name is Becky Mochaface, and I'm with Troop 109. We're selling Girl Scout cookies to raise money for the Girls are Awesome fund. My goal is to be the top seller in my troop, and I'm only behind by 5 boxes. Would you like to buy some cookies to help me reach my goal?")

Second, this slight by the cookie gods is made worse that we had a second cookie sales girl stop by the house when I wasn't home, and John told her we already bought some cookies. Ok, that's true. But the number one rule this time of year is when someone asks if you'd like to buy some Girl Scout cookies, YOU DON'T SAY NO. EVER. Because obviously.

So in case you're keeping count. That's two chances at obtaining cookies. And zero cookies.

Sads.

Anyone got some spare Girl Scout cookies they're willing to donate to this cookie fiend? I don't know how I'll be able to survive until next year when, hopefully, a new Girl Scout stops by.

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