Friday, September 17, 2010

Katie N. Holmes, We'll Always Have Capeside

Dear Katie N. Holmes,

I'm sorry to be so formal considering we used to be besties. I could have called you Kate though. Shudder. In case I've never told you, I do like your middle name Noelle. (Katie N. Holmes' Wikipedia page.) It's pretty. Prettier than Suri. It sucks when a 4 year old tries to show you up doesn't it Katie N. Holmes?

I remember when we first met Katie N. Holmes. I knew immediately you were a girl I wanted to call my bestie. You Katie N. Holmes are one of those rarest breeds of women, the kind that inspires friendship minus the jealousy from all women and goofy-eyed love from all men. You may not remember it Katie N. Holmes. But for me, it's as clear as if it were yesterday.

It was 1998. Capeside, Massachusetts. Dawson's Creek. (Katie N. Holmes' IMDB page.)From the first moments, I was drawn into the story of Joey Potter you wove on the screen with your sarcasm and doe eyes. I learned the phrase "walk your dog" and words like persnickety from you Katie N. Holmes. Who said you can't learn something by watching TV? Not you Katie N. Holmes.

We were the best of friends for more than five years Katie N. Holmes. I thought you were intelligent. And a sincere beauty. A rare combination to happen naturally for sure.

And then you went and married a crazy man. I don't know if you noticed, Katie N. Holmes, how I've distanced myself from you. I thought it was for the best Katie N. Holmes that we break up our friendship because he and I would just never agree. And it's not pleasant to have your bestie and your husband always arguing. It makes me sad because you missed my wedding. But then I missed yours so I guess that makes us even Katie N. Holmes. Have you been to Jamaica? Because if not, you should totally take Suri there for a girls trip.

I did enjoy seeing you on Eli Stone, Thank You for Smoking and Batman Begins. Though I'm not such a fan of Pieces of April or First Daughter. So while I haven't been returning your phone calls, emails or texts Katie N. Holmes, I still watch your movies as those are rare times when we can be together without him. It's been five years Katie N. Holmes since you broke my heart. Time to move on.

I'll always think of our years together fondly Katie N. Holmes. The good times and the bad... but especially the good times (for one, seasons 3 & 4 - minus the last 4 episodes of Season 4. I still can't watch those). I still think you're smart and one of the most beautiful women of our generation Katie N. Holmes.

By the way, I like the shorter hair better:

The many styles of Katie N. Holmes.

But really. This is for the best Katie N. Holmes. That's Life.

Love and kisses,
Becky Mochaface

P.S. Katie N. Holmes, you've just been John C. Mayer-d! (Also see here.)

UPDATED:

When you google Katie N. Holmes, I am #1 baby!

Proof:


Hi, Katie N. Holmes! Love you. Mean it.

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