Why I can never be a “Belieber” or a Twi-Hard.

Today's guest post is from Two Non Blondes. The Two Non Blondes started commenting here a while back and then I started commenting over there and since I've felt like I've found another two bloggers who I can easily relate to. I mean they have a regular feature post called Shoesday Tuesday. How could they not be my kindred spirits? So I am very excited that they agreed to write a guest post while I honeymoon it up. With that, the Two Non Blondes:

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So maybe we are just getting old but recently there have been trends and people and whatnot that I just don’t understand. I feel like I am missing something and my life will not be complete and happy sunshiny rainbows until I get it. What trends am I talking about? Well, I’m so glad you asked:

Vampires: Holy crap. Vamps are everywhere. And not just Twilight-emo-sparkly-vamps. No, there are vamps for every demographic. You have overly-dramatic-love-triangle-teenage-vampires on the Vampire Diaries. You have sexually-explicit-civil-war-era-Cajun-hick-vampires on True Blood. There Is even a wine called Vampire (Actually, I totally get the Vampire wine. It’s delicious.). Now don’t get me wrong. I read every single one of those damn Twilight books even though every single character annoys the crap out me. I mean, seriously, what couple sits around talking about their feelings nonstop? What a beating. But I kept reading and reading and getting more and more annoyed until I finished the whole series. And now? You better believe I am there standing in the stupid line to see the stupid movies and I still don’t know why. And True Blood? I have True Blood watching parties at my house! I can’t get enough of that damn Sookie Stackhouse and her terrible accent. I guess this really isn’t a new trend though. I mean, who can forget the original Buffy, or the Lost Boys (I am still mourning Corey’s death), Interview with a Vampire, or Fright Night? I watched all of these with fervor when I was a kid so maybe vamps are now embedded in our hearts.

iPad: Isn’t this just a giant iPhone that can’t make calls? If they had made the big one first, wouldn’t everyone now be scrambling to get the one you can put in your pocket? And do we even have to talk about the awful Kotex-inspired name for this machine? Gross.

Bieber Fever: Last week I read an article in People and learned, to no surprise that Justin Bieber is 10 years old. Kidding, I think he is old enough to drive, but he probably needs the use of a booster seat. I mean, this kid looks like he could be the 4^th member of the Chastity Choir known as the Jonas Brothers. Nick, Joe, and I think there is a third one. We will call him Curly. When I was young, the pop-star singing sensations were way easier on the eyes. Easier in the sense that anyone over 16 caught with a poster of the guy in their room would be accused of pedophilia. What happened to the *real* teenage boy singing sensations? The ones who you secretly wanted to be caught in a dark alley or backseat of your car with? The ones who would know what to *do* in the back seat of a car. NKOTB? OK, I was like 5, but who cares. NSync? My world revolved around JT. Have you seen the beat box solo from the Live From Madison Square Garden DVD? Swoon. You can borrow my copy. Now JT is a Popstar I can get behind. Or in front of. Whatever he prefers. How Justin Bieber got Ludacris to do a cameo on his song is beyond me. Although I will admit that I found his SNL skit with Tina Fey amazing, but I am determined not to be charmed by a 16 year-old boy who looks like he’s 12. Because that’s just plain wrong. And sick.

Thoughts?

Love,

Your old, confused and determined not to come down with a case of Bieber Fever friends at Two Non Blondes.