Monday, March 22, 2010

Yes, marriage is worth it and don't let anyone convince you otherwise

My bachelorette party was this weekend. I had such a blast. And part of what made it so fun was how everyone who saw me smiled and wished me congratulations. No one said, "Don't do it! It's not worth it!" That is until the end of the night.

In the shuttle from the club to the hotel, a couple guys noticed my bachelorette tiara and girl's night out sash and starting trying to convince me not to get married. According to them, all because their sex life is not what it was, or includes the activities of their single lives.

This kind of advice to a bachelorette is not new to me. I've been to many bachelorette parties where people, usually men, try to persuade the bride against marriage. And it always amazes me why people think it's a good idea to tell this to a woman who is clearly celebrating the upcoming change in her life.

It always brings down the party mood a bit and is frustrating that my choice to get married can't be respected by a stranger. I don't want to pass judgment on the state of the marriages of the two men I met. I am aware, and fully expect, our sex life to fluctuate. It happens in every long-term relationship regardless of whether or not the couple is married.

I also expect it to not always be easy. Like anything worth having in this life, it will take work and sometimes be difficult and sometimes be really, incredibly hard. I am aware and at the very least prepared that I do not know what will come or how I will handle it. But I do know I love DF. And I want to get married because I believe in our future. That we'll be great partners supporting each other through whatever comes at us. And though I am absolutely terrified of the trials we'll face, I can be a little bit braver and stand a little bit surer because I'll face it all with him by my side.

And to those two men, it is the love, the laughter, the smiles and the memories that we've already shared and those that we will share in the future that make marriage worth it.

1 comment:

Ms said...

I've gotten those same comments from coworkers, shop clerks, etc., when they find out I'm getting married. You should also see the absolute SHOCK on people's faces when they find out that I'm 50 years old and getting married for the very first time. My fiance is a 54-year old widower with grandchildren. One person even had the audacity to tell me I was too old to be getting married and having children. I went to a bridal show and was constantly asked if I were the mother of the bride. Vendors weren't particularly interested in me because they assumed (incorrectly) that someone my age surely would not even think of having a big grandiose wedding! My fiance and I are planning a moderate ceremony and yes, I'm wearing a wedding dress, thank you, and yes, I'm having bridesmaids, thank you, but NO, you cannot have my wedding business since you've insulted me because I'm not a 20-something with thousands of dollars to spend.

Congratulations to you and your fiance on your upcoming wedding! I'll be celebrating for you and wishing you both the very best!