Now that we're less than 4 months (have I mentioned GAH?) from the wedding, I often get asked if I'm getting nervous.
Well... no and yes.
I'm actually not nervous in the way people I assume I should be getting nervous... the getting married part of it. One man for the rest of my life. As much as he can sometimes frustrate me, this actually doesn't make me anxious. (I know. What have I been smoking?)
Neither am I really nervous about getting everything done in time. All of the big essential stuff is done. What remains is small stuff that if they don't come together won't really affect the getting married part or the party that comes after.
What I'm nervous about is whether anyone will have any fun. Or at least that's what I originally thought. When I mentioned this specific anxiety to my mom last weekend, her reply was, "They'll have fun if you're having fun."
Which got me to thinking. The anxiety went a little deeper than that. I'm nervous about how the reality of the wedding will be compared to the picture I've been carrying in my head for a while. Sure it was a vague image at first. But it's becoming clearer as I've gone deeper into the planning process.
I know I'm going to have a blast. It's my wedding. To the man I love dearly. My family and closest friends will be with us. There's no way it's NOT going to be fun. The vision I have of the day is awesome and amazing and gorgeous. And I really want the reality to be as incredible.