Friday, September 11, 2009

Downward Facing Dog

Remember my pervy dog Cooper? Well he's gotten a bit better. I can go days now without getting humped by the little terror sweetie.

Except for when I'm trying to do yoga in the living room. Trying because with Cooper around I'm not doing yoga. I'm trying to do yoga.

Because he's humping my leg while I'm attempting to balance during Crescent pose. Or he's climbing onto my back while I'm in Child's pose. Or he's in my face during Corpse pose. Or he's humping me while I'm in, ahem, Downward Facing Dog.

It's hard to relax while stretching in Downward Facing Dog, and you have a real dog mounting you from behind. For one thing because I keep thinking about this video. And for another because a dog's freaking humping me. I can't focus on my breathing with a dog trying to have sex with my leg.

I'd throw him outside before I start except he's always in the other room at that point quietly chewing on a bone or something. So I never remember. And then I get started and a few minutes into sun salutations he's humping me every which way he can. If I didn't know better, I'd be flattered that he found me so attractive. But even then you reach a point where you just have to say no, you know?

P.S. To the families of those that died or were lost eight years ago today, you are in my thoughts today, this anniversary of a most horrific, nightmare of a tragedy.

2 comments:

Cary said...

Poor horny bastard. Or maybe he's trying to assert dominance. Either way -- a swift kick to the balls should solve your problem.

Downward Facing Dog -- I think I saw that in the Kama Sutra.

Jenn said...

hahahahahahahaha!