The following is a true story:
A couple weeks ago, a man in Hong Kong fell in love with a park bench. You see this particular bench is made of metal and is decorated with holes that are approximately 2 inches in diameter. The man thought these holes so beautiful that he couldn't help but become one with them.
Yes. He placed his penis in one of the holes. And then he became stuck. I shit you not. He had to call authorities to come and help him dislodge his penis from the bench. Full story with pictures and video (don't worry, it's PG).
I was wiping tears away when I heard this. Frakkin' hilarious.